Introduction: A story all about me!
Hello my fellow readers! My name is Devin Dill and I am currently a senior at the University of Oklahoma working on obtaining a bachelors of Science in Chemical Engineering. Chemical engineering is a really amazing degree because there are almost endless possibilities on what career paths that you can take with it and because of this i'm excited to see where this path takes me for my future career. When I'm not studying hard at school I'm usually at the gym working out. Working out is a big hobby of mine, and i enjoy doing it very much. When i'm at the gym i feel like i'm at home and nothing else matters in the world. Speaking of home, the place I really call home is in Tulsa, Oklahoma where me and my family grew up. At home along with my mom, dad, and sister and the two best friends a man could ask for. These two best friends are named Bentley and Jack. Bentley is a Yorkshire Terrier and loves tennis balls more than any other dog in the world. Jack is a Cocker Span
Hi Devin! Your story is so relatable, haha! This sounded exactly like a conversation I would have with my parents. I always say I don't care where we eat until they start listing options and none of them sound good. After they decide where to eat, I always end up wishing I had picked one of the restaurants they had said earlier. There were a couple places that I noticed the dialogue was not capitalized at the beginning of a sentence when it should be, but besides that your story is really good! I always appreciate retellings of stories that have a more light-hearted or modern twist, so I like that your story had both these changes. Sure, eating at one restaurant when you would rather be eating at another is no fun for anyone, but it definitely beats being stuck as a moon forever! I'm excited to read your other stories!
ReplyDeleteHey Devin,
ReplyDeleteI wanna start out by saying I can heavily relate to your story. I have been dating my girlfriend for four and a half years now, and have been through the same exact situation countless times. We often spend more time trying to decide on where we want to go eat than actually getting the food!
Onto the actual story, I think this is a perfect representation of the moral expressed in the man in the moon story, but in a modern day scenario. Right down to the exhaustion of the wizard and husband with the black smith and wife. It really does feel like you adequately captured every element of the story in your own way.
While it is hard to make a story like this any longer, I would maybe consider finding ways to add to it. I think you could probably get a few more of the details into your version that way! Nice job though!
Hi Devin,
ReplyDeleteThis story was so relatable and I really loved it. This is something I have done and have dealt with many times in relationships or even just with my friends. I had not read the original story you had based this off of so after reading your story I checked out the original. I think you really nailed it when you said you wanted to make this more modern. This is something that I am sure almost everyone has experienced and when you relate that with the underlying message of the story you create something that people today can really understand. The only critique I can offer would to maybe think about adding a little length to the story. I know this might not be the easiest for this story but it might be worth looking into. Overall great story!
Hey Devin! I just finished reading "Welcome To My Crib," and loved it! I thought it was really helpful and useful to the reader to explain and help create a visual picture on what the inside of Genie's house looked like. I thought it was a fun add in when you talked about what was in the refrigerator and what type of sheets were on the bed. All of those things just makes the readers experience that much better. It was creative to use such descriptive words when describing the layout and different aspects of the house. This was a fun story to read and I liked how you modernized it from the original story. I would be interested to see where this story goes. Does the Genie like living by himself? Does anyone ever visit him? Does he like granting wishes for people or would he rather go out and live in the real world? This story could go in so many different directions. I also like the layout of your Portfolio. It's easy to navigate and looks simple and not too overwhelming. Overall, nice job!
ReplyDeleteHi Devin!
ReplyDeleteWhile reading Gone but Never Forgotten I actually chuckled because of how much that actually happens. I am pretty sure choosing where to eat is the biggest source of arguments between me and my fiance. I am definitely like the wife in the story. I don't realize the good choice I have until it is too late. Why is it people always say "I don't care" about food when they really do? I thought it was very clever turning that concept into a story.
Welcome to my crib was a great story. I felt like I was actually watching the show and going through the lamp on a tour. Great job on the details. I think it is very clever how you turned that story into your own. One thing though, in the first paragraph you wrote "this lamp is magically" I am guessing it should be "this lamp is magical". Just look into that small little thing!
Hi Devin, I really enjoyed both your stories and thought it was interesting that you put a modern twist on the two! For your first one, I did not even realize that it was a re-write of the Man in the Moon story, and I had rewritten my own version of that. Once I finished the story and got to the bottom and saw the bibliography, I laughed because it all made sense. It was very entertaining. For your second story, I believe I read this one before when it was just a first draft on your blog! I see that you have changed some things, like how the food items in the fridge are more relevant to the middle eastern culture instead of pizza rolls and such. It is definitely more fitting to the character, the Genie, and therefore made it more immersive to me. I enjoyed reading it again.
ReplyDeleteHey Devin!
ReplyDeleteI had a really fun time reading your stories! I thought they were a super fun way to get into the mythology but make it more modern. The Cribs episode was my favorite. It was my favorite show watching to grow up with as a kid so seeing it this way was fun. Aladdin has always been my favorite Disney movie too.. That may be my favorite story I had read so far. I have your page bookmarked so I can keep up with your readings to see how they progress,
Onto your website, I really liked the way it was set up. It was easy to navigate and pretty pleasing to the eye.
I really like what you are doing - Keep it up!
Danielle
Hey Devin. I was a little confused on what story you were basing your own off of but as soon as I read the author's note I understood it completely. You made it much more relatable for people in today's world because I feel like this has happened to a lot of people whether it be friends or family. I didn't realize that The Man in the Moon could be compared to what was happening in today but you made it very relatable. I really liked how you made the wife go back to the idea of Chipotle. I was really confused as to why she did this but you made it based off the Man in the Moon which made sense at the end. In the original story the man is just trying to help but in your story it is just a husband being irritated by his wife.
ReplyDeleteHey Devin!
ReplyDeleteYour story ideas were all so relevant and easy to follow. I love how you took such a modern take on classic tales. The story inspired by Man in the Moon was quite different than the original story. I'm glad I caught the author's note at the end. The wife's relentless need to want better is annoying but at the same time reflective of the capitalist system we reside in. The need to be engaged with the society at one's own detriment is quite an interesting take. I believe your story does a great job of illustrating the restlessness of the human spirit that many stories from that section tried to preach to us. I wonder how you chose the specific restaurants you incorporated into your story because they themselves are representative of certain elements of society. It was a very good read! Keep up the good work! I am so excited to see more of your stories from you.