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Couple in a car
Source: Pexels |
Once upon a time there was a man and a woman who were happily married. One day this married couple decided to go out and grab a bite to eat. In the car the man ask "what would you like to eat honey?" the woman then replied "I don't care". So the man said alright were going to Chipotle and the woman then replied with a no to Chipotle because she just had it the other day. So the man then suggested that they go to Mcdonalds because he had some coupons for a buy one get one free burger there. The woman quickly shut that option down saying that she wants better quality food than that and also something that has healthy option to choose from. The man then came up with the idea of going to a sit down restaurant like Texas Road house but the woman didn't want to because the next episode of the Bachelor was coming on in an hour and she absolutely could not miss that for anything. As tension started running high the man gave the option of going to Subway but the woman didn't want the either saying that she is not in the mood for a sandwich at the moment. The man was now became aggravated because they have been sitting in the car for 10 minutes now and said "Alright, were going to Pei Wei and I don't want to hear another word" The woman quickly replied saying she was not in the mood for asian food at the moment either. The woman then came to the realization that she actually did want Chiptole again so she said they could go there but it was already too late, the man already made up his mind and said that they are going to Pei Wei and it was final. So the woman sat in the car on the way to Pei Wei as she was yearning for the taste of Chipotle.
Authors Note
I chose to keep the same concept that the original story had with a blacksmith wanting to change to something else because of different reasons and ended up being stuck with the last option but i gave the story a more modern approach.
Bibliography
Hi Devon! I really enjoyed your rendition of the story of the blacksmith desiring a different life. I think it was very creative and humorous to put it into a modern perspective. I've definitely had to experience this situation. I also appreciate that you put Chipotle at the top of the chain of food options. It's way better than McDonalds or Pei Wei.
ReplyDeleteHello Devon
ReplyDeleteI actually did the same story as you! I like your rendition of the story. You mostly kept the story the same. I see how you made the wiseman the man and made the woman the "man on the moon. Your story was easy to follow. There are a few punctuations missing. Other than that it was well written as well! Good, job!
Hi Devin, I found your story very amusing, when I got towards the end of reading it and realized what story it was based off of (I also did the same one!) I laughed. I love that you did a modern take on the story, it reminds me of the different memes there are out there about guys and girls when they are trying to figure out where to eat. I do feel like if you had formatted the story into more paragraphs it would have been easier on the eye to read rather than having it all clustered together into one. There are some capitalization issues I noticed, like how Texas Road House the "h" should be capitalized or in your author's note your "i" in "I gave" needs to be capitalized as well. I also noticed some punctuation missing, such as the apostrophe for "Authors" in your "Author's Note". Besides that, I really enjoyed your story.
ReplyDeleteHello Devon, I liked how you were able to keep the concept of the original story and made it to where there was a modern touch with all the restaurants. Also i love how you included the concept of the people always arguing on where to eat. I ask if you considered maybe changing the ending to where a person realizes the errors of their ways and learns their lesson while still getting to do something they want to create a happy ending in the end. A suggestion that I might give is that you divide the story up into more paragraphs rather than one big paragraph. I suggest after each time you use a dialog that you start a new paragraph so that it makes it easier for some people to read, so they do not see it as one big long story. Also I would watch your capitalization through the story and some other minor grammar issues. I am not say this to be mean, just saying it to be helpful for I have the same issues. As I stated the story was good.
ReplyDeleteHey Devin! I loved your story! It was pretty funny and so accurate. I can't make a decision even if my life depended on it. I thought it was creative to keep the same story line. I also liked how you modernized it, it made it a bit easier to read. After reading your story, I'm interested to read the original story. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteHi, Devin! I really enjoyed reading your story and seeing how you were able to put your own spin on this classic story! I definitely like how you made the story more modern so it was easier for the readers to relate to and to actually read. I am also now very interested in the original story, so I might have to read that one! I would suggest to keep an eye on your capitalization and punctuation as there seemed to be a few mistakes, but other than that I really enjoyed this! Have a great semester!
ReplyDelete